Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
