If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
