I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
