You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
