John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
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And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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