I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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