then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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