He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
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I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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