I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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