So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
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you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize