You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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