i jhust puked up my retainher.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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