She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
don't judge my taste in strippers
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
