if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
