Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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