Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
