bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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