I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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