Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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