I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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