It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sext me about skeletons
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
