White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dick very happy bro
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
