I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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