yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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