And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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