You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You are a genius and a whore.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
