I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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