last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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