ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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