I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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