He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize