She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
