So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
