apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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