so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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