I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
