i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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