hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
This girl is more easily done than said...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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