Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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