this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
