one might say we're banned from that church
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
