oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
