drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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