Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
