I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
