Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
