do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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