Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
