we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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