I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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