Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
