But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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