i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
